you’re the window to my wall
you’re the sweat that drips down my balls
my brother left his drink at taco bell and was like “where’s my baja blast?” and my sister just quietly whispers “in the baja past”
me: hi, can i have a large—
starbucks employee: you mean a venti?
me: can we not do this
mmm.. i LOVE sushi
i love JAPAN……. period.
i love anime!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
me: stop being racist please
family: listen… liberal hippie trash ….u dont know anything abotu the world….
a guy walked into the board room and said
"hi sweetheart if you could fix me up a coffee real quick im meeting with the regional reports manager in like five minutes, thanks darling"
and i just stared at him and coldly said
"i am the regional reports manager"
we are now twenty minutes into this board meeting and i dont think i’ve ever seen a man look so embarrassed and afraid in my whole life